If you’ve been directed to this page you are a part of the community being created around our classes and playspace. We encourage the people who connect through our events, education, and space to continue to grow these connections.
We launched this community building tool in February of 2023 to help folks connect, learn, and network. As Social Media platforms continue to shadowban, censor, and deplatform adult entrepreneurs, sex educators, and kink content — it is increasingly important for us to carve out safe spaces to share and discuss BDSM.
If you’re new to using Discord you will find it is easy to set up (very similar to Slack if you used that before), there is a handy mobile and desktop app, and it is private and safer. (Some resource links: How to use Discord (video), Beginners guide to Discord.)
Please review our community guidelines and click the button at the bottom of the page to join us.
Discord Community Guidelines
Welcome to the Sub Rosa Community Server, we aim to support the activities, education, and community created by our physical playspace in Portland, OR (owned by Natasha Strange and Viola Parker). We invite folks who have attended classes, rented the space, or folks we trust who are otherwise interested in FemDom-led community. This is a place where people can connect for BDSM resources, networking, support while exploring kink, a place where events and content can be shared.
As a private community run by FemDoms, we center women, femmes, trans folks, queer folks, and non-binary people. We welcome cisgendered men to this space who understand and celebrate this, because the patriarchy has got their claws on all of our throats regardless of gender.
SERVER EXPECTATIONS & AGREEMENTS:
- Respect & Safety. Community safety is our first priority and we strive to maintain a positive and welcoming atmosphere for connection and self-expression. Participation in this server comes with an expectation of behavior – including use of inclusive language. Conduct, speech, or expressions that constitute harassment, discrimination, or bullying will not be tolerated, regardless of reason or intent. Members of this server agree to refrain from engaging in trolling, harassment, threats or other abusive behaviors. Hate speech, racism, homophobia, transphobia, body shaming, fatphobic language, whorephobia will not be tolerated and will result in removal from the server.
If a person’s posts or comments make you feel uncomfortable/unsafe – interrupt directly if you feel comfortable or direct message an Admin or Moderator. We do want there to be a culture of self moderation and empowerment, so whenever something makes you feel uncomfortable, we encourage a practice of directly calling in and interrupting these behaviors, but Admins and Mods are always available to do that as well.
We have three administrators and several moderators monitoring the channels the best they can, but be aware not everyone has been heavily vetted so share information in this community at your own risk. Take the same precaution you would take when sharing or interacting in any online space. Just because a person is in this Discord does not mean we know them well or they are safe. - Privacy. Personal information and stories that are shared here stay here! Do not share info about other Discord members without explicit permission. This includes talking about names or other identifying information.
- Consent. Obtaining consent is mandatory in all Sub Rosa settings including online interactions. Be aware that people may not want friend requests just because they share a server with you (Admins may need to friend request or DM members of the server to discuss issues).
For all other members of the server: DO NOT DIRECT MESSAGE (DM) SOMEONE HERE UNLESS THEY HAVE GIVEN EXPLICIT CONSENT FOR YOU TO DO SO. Make friends here first by chatting, attending events and getting to know them on this server before you ask to send that friend request. Direct messaging someone from this server without consent or sending inappropriate messages may result in removal from the server, temporarily or permanently. If we hear about members harassing other members they will be removed from the server immediately. - Reporting/Accountability. If you need to report an incident of harm or concern please send a Direct Message to an Admin (Viola, Natasha, or Emma). These messages will be confidential. We also have a feedback form here if you need to bring up a concern about an Admin, Moderator, or community leader (can be done anonymously or for follow-up).
If you see any member of the community (including Admin/Mods) doing or saying anything unsafe or hurtful, slipping into automatic behavior or implicit bias, please let us know. We agree to do the same for you. We agree to accept interventions as an act of caring about our health, safety, and awareness. We agree to give and receive feedback with trust and respect, so we can all mutually benefit. - Conflict Resolution. If there is personal conflict between members, we agree to call in rather than call out (like putting someone on blast about personal conflicts). Ask the person to have a conversation about the conflict and provide feedback. If you feel you need mediation, reach out to an Admin to ask for support. We understand that despite our best intentions, our impact on others can still be negative. We affirm that no matter the intentions, it’s important to center the impact of our actions.
- Server Introductions & Access. New members should introduce themselves in the #introductions channel. All channels have descriptions in them of how they function and the expectations for each (click top of each channel’s screen for this description).
People find this server via a link to this page only (so they can review these guidelines before joining) and they are invited after our private classes and events. If you are a member of this server and you’d like to invite a friend, we ask that this person be someone you would vouch for personally and that when they join you make a post welcoming them and they head over and introduce themselves in the #introductions channel.